(The
following opening to Act II is a sermon-in-progress,
completely original; no form of
it appears in Molière’s opus. Not to criticize
his masterpiece but I always felt that we, the audience,
should have had a few moments of Tartuffe to ourselves.
Considering that Molière played Orgon, it’s
understandable that it is the larger of the two roles.
We tend to forget he was an actor first, a playwright
second. NOTE: Double quotes indicate that he is actually
practicing. Unquoted lines are him talking to himself.)
TARTUFFE
“My friends, are you prepared to meet the Lord?
To stand before him with your soul outpoured
And say, ‘Oh, God, forgive my wicked actions!
I was ensnared by Satan’s sweet attractions!”
No, no, too soon for Satan, lead in slowly.
Start upbeat first, then throw in something holy.
“
The Holy Ghost…” no, no. “The Holy Spirit
Fills you with his voice, but can you hear it?”
And then I’ll listen. “Ssh, what does it say?
It says, ‘I’ve come to be with you today,
To take your troubled soul out of perdition!”
And now I’ll hit ‘em with some repetition:
“Can God deliver drunkards? Yes he can!
Can God deliver dope fiends? Yes he can!
Can God deliver perverts? Every man
And woman who has lived in sin can be
Forgiven by his blesséd ministery.
Forgiven as I preach this Gospel to ‘ya,
Praise Jesus, praise the Lord and Hallelujah!”
That’s good. Now, next I tell a little story
Of someone’s sinful life and rise to glory.
Let’s see…”A man came to me yesterday.
A sinner, like yourself, he’d lost his way.
He had no fortune, children, friends or wife.
What did he have? A sinful, sordid life.
Tormented by his guilt, he could not sleep.
He told me this, and then began to weep,
And I began to weep because I knew
That this man’s soul knew what it had to do.
‘
Right now,’ I said, ‘I’ll show you all the poss’ble
Ways of beating Satan with the Gospel.
Right now, the spirit of the Lord will speak
And show the power of Jesus to the weak!’
Down on his knees that sinner went. We prayed.
He shook from head to toe. He was afraid,
For many were his sins and great his pain,
But he knew he had everything to gain
By looking up to God and shouting, ‘yea!
I cast off Satan from this very day!
The power of sin will touch me nevermore,
I crush you, Satan, right here on the floor!’”
(He stomps his foot on the floor)
Oh yeah, they always love that stompin’ bit.
And then I’ll point the finger. “Now admit,
That man is you, and you and you, and you
All know what Jesus charges you to do.
‘
But how do I crush Satan?’ You cry out.
You lift your hands to Heav’n above and shout
‘
I give myself to Jesus!’ Then you give,
And give so that your soul can start to live!”
There’s crying, shouting, moaning, then oh, honey,
The perfect moment: Hit ‘em up for money.
“
Right now, take out the largest bill you’ve got
And watch the devil shrivel on the spot!
You’ve got a hundred? Take it out, my friend!
You’ve got a fifty? That’s what you must spend.
And if you’ve got but one, God understands,
But give it up and soon those empty hands
Are full, oh yes, they’re full of sweet salvation!
(Pause)
Bah-dah, bah-dah, bah-dah-dah, in the nation.”
No no, not nation, that spells politics.
With politics, I need more subtle tricks.
Let’s see. There’s veneration—no, creation!
“ Creation of a Bible school for you!
Our missionary work down in Peru,
A center for our troubled adolescents,
Another for our aging convalescents.
But don’t expect to get to Paradise
By giving, if it isn’t sacrifice.
You sacrifice for God and here’s your prize:
You’ll give that dirty devil two black eyes!
The Holy Ghost is here with you tonight!
The Holy Ghost will help you make it right.
Put Jesus in your life, right now, right here,
And watch your pain and worry disappear!”
They’re screaming now. Then I shout once again,
“ Praise God, praise Jesus, praise the Lord, amen!”
I take my handkerchief and wipe my brow,
That was inspiring. I deserve a bow.
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Here’s
what the critics are saying
about Tartuffe: Born Again:
What
(Tartuffe) has in common with his 17th century counterpart
is that he is…a
thoroughly entertaining phony…Thomas’ adaptation
is a clever piece of work. She follows Molière’s
plot closely, inventively adapting scenes and characters to the
TV studio situation. But the real pleasure of Thomas’ adaptation
lies in the language. She maintains Molière’s rhymed-couplet
structure but her parlance is distinctly contemporary. Thus,
Dorine, Orgon’s floor manager, can say to the would-be
seducer: “And I could see you naked as a jay/ and I would
shrug and turn and walk away.” And later, the excited Tartuffe
can talk about “getting it on.” It is lively, vivid
language that is at once modern and old-fashioned, slangy and
formal, recognizably Molière and obviously not. Douglas J. Keating
Philadelphia Inquirer Freyda
Thomas’ new
(Broadway) adaptation of the classic Tartuffe is set in a recording
studio in the American south…the hypocritical title character
is an oily televangelist -- and Orgon, who falls for Tartuffe's
ersatz piety and gives them all his worldly goods, is the studio’s
blustering owner... since the augmented title may lead you to
think otherwise, let me hasten to report that the play is indeed
Tartuffe, cast in Molière 's trademark couplets and following
his familiar plot. Inasmuch as it's an adaptation rather than
a translation, however, the syntax of those couplets has undergone
some rather significant transformation. Consider the wonderfully
cynical monologue that Thomas has furnished Tartuffe at the start
of Act Two, wherein he plots each twist of the sermon he plans
to deliver. Turning to the audience, he asks us to "...
take out the largest bill you've got/and watch the devil shrivel
on the spot." The rhythm and the context are pure Molière,
but the locution is pure Pat Robertson. Clifford A. Ridley
Philadelphia Inquirer ...
much of the amusement comes from seeing how Thomas
has managed to transpose
the plot. She mixes in healthy doses of 20th-century jargon,
which sound funniest when they come from the sassy Dorine
(a paid companion in the original, here the station’s floor
manager)... warning Orgon’s daughter... about the proposed
arranged marriage with the preacher, she taunts, "it's clear
you want to be Tartuffillated!” (which rhymes with "consummated")
and, "Isn't this divine? You’ll open up your
own cosmetics line." Aileen Jacobson
Newsday, May 31st, 1996 ...
Freyda Thomas’ adaptation infuses the original text with amusing
additions -- "Preaching, sir, is not performance art.
When God speaks through you, it comes from the heart." Sydney Weinberg
Time Out, June 5th 1996 This is a free
and modern adaptation by Freyda Thomas... and yes it is quite
funny... it's a lovely play. Clive Barnes
New York Post, may 31st 1996 The
notion of three setting Molière’s Tartuffe in the deep
South, in the studio of a small time cable TV station, would
have seemed daunting, if not perfectly foolhardy. As if to make
dire straits suicidal, Freyda Thomas wrote her adaptation in
rhymed couplets, modeled on those of the author, the classic
17th-century French satirist whose real name was Jean-Baptise
Poquelin. Gadzooks, it works. Cleverly retitled Tartuffe: Born
Again, Ms. Thomas’ script is crisp, her extreme resetting
never jars with the original, whose flavor and lesson are sustained,
the performances are spirited... some of Ms. Thomas’ rhymes
are dazzling. Not so bad either, is the expressiveness in her
script. While the first focus is properly on comedy, an audience
that laughs at the character's insistence that "Preaching
is not performance art" is an excellence that is getting
the point behind the laugh. The result is an ideal transformation
of a classic. Martin Gottfried
New York Law Journal, May 31, 1996
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